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Our friends for over two decades, a person who's overcome several obstacles, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she's often caught off guard by others. Her husband walked away, which came as a massive blow. Several of her social circle drifted away during that time, as they were focused solely on her husband. This surprised her. She put in increased attention in our friendship, and must have realised better the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme of Disappearance

Over the years, quite a few of her friends have drifted apart and she isn't sure why. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, although she had been an excellent employee, her exit happened without knowing what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Recently, we have each stepped back from work and are seeing time together, however, I feel the part I play between us is as the audience. I introduce discussion points only for her to redirect the talk toward her own topics. Politically, she has unyielding views. My effort is to suggest verifying facts or other angles.

She's been organizing a trip abroad I have traveled to repeatedly and resided in for some time. I attempted to offer insights, however, my input met with resistance. She purely only wanted my agreement with her choices. I recently ended four weeks in that place and she wants to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want in this role that walks away abruptly, yet I doubt she'll truly understand the impact of how she acts on my confidence. At this point, I find myself in pulling back. What should I do?

Ways Forward

One option is to end things abruptly, however, that approach is not often a smooth outcome we imagine. But confrontation with a view to working things out demands strength and openness from both people.

Therapists recommend trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially involves describing how things go in your conversations. This needs to be objective and clear and essentially an unbiased account. The second is to tell how this affects you emotionally. There should be no disagreement on this point. What you feel are valid, after all. Finally is to ask ways you together will alter the interaction between you."

Consider she too holds perspectives, thus requiring you to stay open to hear that. A helpful technique is to say her:

"Now you talk and I'm going to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

This can be impactful for promoting better communication.

Closing Considerations

This person might reject everything, since certain individuals hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they have a story about themselves they're unable to let go of because their very survival depends upon it and it's all they've known. This is difficult when there seems no easy route with these people, just dead ends. However, she might at first react defensively and then think your perspective. And even if you never reach an agreement, it provides peace from having been open and direct.